BR@17/02/02 Late Night Walk in the Woods

Being Rubber @170202-0100 Late Night Walk in the Woods

(From: Being Rubber; an Epistolary Novel of Deep Rubber Fetishism by Ataraxia)

Dear Marla,

I couldn’t sleep. Yeah, I was sleeping in nothing but the latex body suit. This was something I had been doing regularly since Frank departed, so my mind-body had become well adjusted to it. It was the “norm” for my sleeping. Emotionally, there was nothing was particularly bothering me. I liked my new job. Something in my body chemistry was probably off somehow. It might have been the new brand of pizza we had for dinner that night — the pepperoni seemed to be especially spicy. Anyhow, I tossed and turned.

Finally, at around 1a.m. I got out of bed. Light from the full moon was streaming in through the big sliding glass doors and played on the floor. The woods outside were illuminated and seemed inviting. Maybe a little bit of fresh air would help me get to sleep.

In the two months or so that I had been there, I had never seen a single soul in the woods. I had begun to take the extreme isolation of the Hahnastery for granted. I felt quite sure that there would be no one roaming around in the woods at that hour to see me.

But it was a tad on the chilly side. I didn’t want to go out there in just the latex body suit so I put the heavy natural rubber butchers apron that Mr.Hahn had given me on and slipped into some shoes. I opened the door, boldly stepped out on to the deck which extended the full length of the back of the house. A second glass sliding door at the dining room also opened out on to it. It was home to a wide assortment of typical deck furniture, the hot tub and and a gas grill.

I wandered a little ways out into the woods into the cool, moist night. I came to one of my favourite spots next to the creek and not far from the house. As always, there was a light mist which made everything glisten with moisture. Even though I was quite familiar with the trees, ferns and other things that lived along that path, they looked completely different in the moonlight. Their shadows and colours were all different now. I sat on my favourite rock for a few minutes, enchanted by all of this.

That is, I enjoyed it until the first mosquito bit me. Then another! Damn bugs! All of the enchantment suddenly disappeared as my attention shifted to swatting at them defensively. Soon I became aware of even more mosquitoes who had, apparently, smelled my blood and began to gather around me for a feast. Shit! They ruined the moment!

Then I had an idea. I quickly returned to the house and put my old black latex catsuit and hood on along with some gloves and a pair of steampunk-style goggles to cover my eyes. I also had a gag attached to a piece of latex that fit over my mouth. There! Except for two small holes for my nostrils I was completely enclosed in my “bugsuit”!! Finally, I put the heavy latex apron back on to protect my suit from scrapes while out in the woods. Ok, bugs! Try to bite me now!

I went back out into the woods to my rock and sat down again. Soon I could hear the mosquitoes flying around my ears and occasionally see them in the moonlight but, as expected, they could not get at my skin to bite me. They seemed to give up on me after a while.

At first I could not feel the magic of the woods because the latex seemed as a barrier isolating me from the sensations of what was around me. However, I soon realized that I could feel small breezes and the coolness of the moist air condensing on my suit. I could also feel the uneven surface of the rock I was sitting on. My mind was adjusting to my total enclosure. Latex is a particularly good conductor of both heat (and cold) and tactile perceptions — perhaps much more so than just about any other fabric. I could also hear well through my latex hood and see well through the glass lenses of my goggles.

But I still felt isolated from the outside world, “protected” from it by a thin layer of skin-like latex. I was, so to speak, “anaerobic”!

My awareness of the raw sensation of the latex against my skin had been slowly creeping into my general consciousness since I had put it on. It felt good — really good. It was like “going home”. Something in the depths of my being said this where I was “supposed to be”, as if it was where my heart dwelt. My fetish for rubber “talked” to me in the only language it knew: tactile sensation. Lots of it. It spoke directly to my skin in words about a wide range of pleasant tactile sensations which were overtly sexual at times but most were deliciously sensual and not focused on potential orgasm [[like a back scratch?]] . “What marvelous conversations! At times, it seemed reminiscent of my mother’s womb. It felt wonderful to be home.

I understood, of course, that the suit was not actually a living, sentient thing. It was just latex produced in a factory somewhere. It was the fetish doing this. The fetish, itself, was alive. Somewhere along the line I began to (playfully) think of my fetish as the manifestation of a sort of goddess of the latex rubber tree who has cast this enchantment on me since my early childhood (and for reasons I have never understood! Why me?) You can almost think of it as being a classic magic spell as in Sleeping Beauty and others. I call my rubber fetish Mistress “Hevea”, from hevea.brasiliensis, the species name of the commercial rubber tree. It’s just a metaphor or trope[TROPE: (noun)The use of a word or expression in a different sense from that which properly belongs to it; the use of a word or expression as changed from the original signification to another, for the sake of giving life or emphasis to an idea; a figure of speech.]. I sometimes imagine it to be some sort of test in which I have been challenged to do something positive and constructive with the fetish.

However, after after a while I was surprised when snippets and teasers of new perceptivity began to become apparent. Something was happening. It was very subtle at first. I really cannot explain this very well except to say that I suppose I started to become very faintly aware of the energy field of the ferns and trees around me. Oh, this is weird — If I closed my eyes, I could still somehow feel them around me. I could for example, (and with my eyes still closed) sense that a big, benevolent, living thing was near me on my left. There was a faint tingling on my suit, almost as if the latex, itself, was some sort of ‘conductor’ of life force. When I opened my eyes, I could see that this sensation came from an big old tree a few yards away from me. I somehow knew that it was there! I closed my eyes again for a much longer period. This time I began to perceive some of the other trees and ferns around me. It was all very, very subtle, but it was enough to make me realize something special was happening here.

I stayed out there for an hour, caught up in the enchantment of this discovery. However, soon I began to yawn and shiver from the cold so I realized I should head back to bed.

Carpe Rubber Diem!

Carpe Rubber Diem!Seize the Rubber Day!

Your fetish is a gift. Celebrate it!

One way to do this is by wearing rubber mind fully and with a sense of purpose and devotion to yourself. Let it add new levels of richness, passion and depth to your life well beyond the sexual side of it. Make it “sacred” in your mind. Ritualize it. Wear your rubber as a “symbolic action with style” which speaks to your mind and heart but does not need to make sense in a literal context. Cultivate a sensitivity to symbolism and metaphors. Use your rubber rituals to provoke your imagination and creativity in the mundane acts of everyday life.  In a life animated by rituals there are no insignificant things. Think of your garments as a “shrine” to your inner being.  Try doing simple rubber acts every day, solely and deliberately, for the purpose of doing those acts as an end in themselves. They do not need to be grandiose or lengthy or involved. Doing them with regularity is much more important.  Focus your attention on the “now” of the rubber on your body. Practice rubber mindfulness. Keep in mind that rituals are symbolic acts. Wear rubber for the sake of wearing rubber.

(Note that a “ritual” is an act or symbolic gesture deliberately intended to mark an event as special or sacred. It need not be logically connected to nature of the event itself. Shaking hands when you meet someone is a classic example of a ritual to symbolically mark the occasion as being special. It can be totally spontaneous, unrehearsed, unscripted and it need not be repeated. It is the intent of the ritual that matters. It is very different from a “habit” which is mindless repetition of a mundane act. A “habit” lacks the deliberate intent of a ritual.)

This does NOT mean that you have to wear several layers of rubber for hours and hours, totally enclosed, etc.  Certainly, these more demanding, intense activities can be rituals, but there are also many, many much simpler, much less demanding rituals as well. For example, you might keep a box of disposable latex gloves in your car and create a daily ritual of deliberately wearing a rubber glove only on your left hand during your commute to work.  This simple act, done regularly and with a sense of purpose and ritual symbolism, becomes an act of devotion. It is a way to “seize the rubber day” and express your life more creatively as an “art”, which makes it more worth living.

Research the concept of “mindfulness”. This is a very simple meditative technique that anyone can do virtually any time, any where and for very short bursts of time — even just a few seconds at a time.. It can be readily adapted to your rubber rituals and will add significant depth to them and, ultimately, richness to your life.

Be an explorer of your soul — a pioneer. Look for possible pathways to spirituality through your fetish. Think of yourself as a kind of “Priest/ess” of your own temple. Seek value, virtue and substance well beyond mere sexuality in your fetish. Use your fetish energy to create a personal culture to improve the quality of your life and, perhaps, enhancing it’s spirituality whilst not disturbing or conflicting with your real “religion”. Think of it more like an “art of living” concept much like Yoga or meditation.

For whatever reason, your fetish is part of you — it runs deeply within you. It’s a fundamental part of your identity.  Do something positive with it! Make it a creative expression of your soul.

Make your fetish your “art”! Celebrate rubber!

Seize the Rubber Day! Carpe Rubber Diem!

Seize the Rubber Day! Carpe Rubber Diem!

rubgbernaut at rubbernaut dot com

ZEN OF RUBBER – Seeking a deeper experience

Thought Koans — a collection of fleeting ideas about deep rubbering:

The goal of full enclosure is to flood the mind with the presence of rubber by eliminating or reducing its awareness of the other senses as much as possible.

Perhaps terms something like “Sensory Focusing” or “Sensory Concentration” or even “Enhanced Tactile Consciousness” are more on target.

It is actually more akin to making ALL of one’s skin stimulated at the same instant.

The theory here is that by (temporarily) reducing as many sensations EXCEPT tactile contact with rubber as possible the feeling of being fully enclosed in rubber will be magnified much in the same sense that the blind person hears more.

The very interesting and intriguing part is that the hypothalamus or (the brains brain); is actually controlling and manipulating our sensual response to rubber as much as it is managing our heart or lungs.

The term – space – is used to refer to an altered sense of consciousness… I suspect… not unlike being high from alcohol or drugs which alter your perception of reality.

Obviously when completely enclosed and isolated from the world by a barrier of rubber it is easy to allow it to not only to filter out most the environmental stimuli… but also focus on whatever the qualities that the rubber enclosure offers.. such as overall compression, light restriction of movement, smell and so on. One might make an analogy to being completely underwater and how this “feels”…

I suspect this special state  known as “rubberspace”is, essentially, a form of lucid dreaming  which is affected (or triggered??) by the unusually strong focus on the feel of the warm, moist, mildly compressive rubber which lovingly encases you. It is a deeply meditative almost “womb-like” state that  not seem possible to experience for any length of time if there are external interruptions of other kinds of sensory input.

What is “RubberSpace”? It is a timeless state of vacuous existence through short term t/e. It is a wonderful state of well-being safety and contentment – an escape if you like – (*ataraxia even*?) from the pressures of ‘normal’ existance.

I’ve also found that in wearing rubber for long periods my libido is subject to great “mood swings” ranging from the very erotic to something decidedly more sensual. The latter becomes increasingly apparent the longer I am in my rubber. Most of the time the rubber simply feels marvelous and comforting but not always in a sexual kind of way. (This is not to say that there are not times when my sexual libido is aroused but it is not a predominant factor. There have been many 24 hr sessions in the suit where I have had no sexual activity or inclinations at all.)

There have been many 24 hr sessions in the rubber suit where I have had no sexual activity or inclinations at all. I might describe this experience as “tipping over” from “sex in rubber” (i.e. short term, hi-stim sessions) to “living in rubber” (LIR) where it becomes part of my every day life, going well beyond the sexual dimensions. In this way it becomes kind of a sort of “Zen” thing.

The word zen itself is Japanese and means “meditation” or “absorption.” Traditional zen practice emphasizes sustained meditative breathing but in the largest sense, zen is simply an absorption in life-the essence of life. Quietude and meditation may be aspects of zen but zen itself is vibrantly alive. Its way is the way of nature changing like the seasons. A “zen of rubber” could, then, be construed as a conscious life-style decision to become fully absorbed in the fetish.

*what I found is that is that it did NOT become “largely invisible to my senses”. (hedonic Adaptation) What happened was that the rubber sensation became part of the everyday things I do such as being at my computer, washing the dishes, reading while in bed etc. Basically anything I did that in particular involved bodily movement had a (pleasureable) “rubber dimension” added to it. As the days went by the sensation of rubber seemed to become part of my activities rather than something separate and distinct.I just wondered if anyone had considered that there is a certain |RubberSpace| inner tranquility achieved when one is totally encased in latex

Latex can for me block out the world momentarily but this doesn’t mean that I relax and get “high”. It means that I become centered and focused on myself (perhaps a moment of intense narcissism if you will :)) by which I gain self control and pleasure. There is nothing religious in it nor does it have a metaphysical element. In my abstract point of view: I never leave my body I trap myself in it to go deeper inside

Why is rubber so magickal in nature why do some of us few become energized when wearing it? Because |Chi| one of the most powerful forms of spiritual energy is that derived from physiological sensations be it sex or just sensual. Again this is all tools to help focus ourselves on our “truth” not reality. It keeps us in the mindset of being “not mundane” but magickal in nature.

Anything that brings you pleasure, excites or comforts you is spiritual because you put emphasis on it and it helps connect you to another level of yourself, be it sexual sensual or spiritual they are all connected.

Zen is a way of life and not solely a state of consciousness. Zen is both a practice and a philosophy.

“Life Art” — a creative endeavor in which sensual awareness and a lifestyle itself are endlessly practiced as an art.

The Isolation of Rubberists

This “isolation of Rubberists” has two aspects.

One refers to the seclusion and lack of community of some Rubberists resulting from geographical isolation — the distance from each other. To socially interact with each other Rubberists must travel long distances or interact through online venues such as or 2nd Life which tend to result in only fleeting, superficial human contact.

The other aspect relates to social rejection of Rubberists by vanillas — usually the result of the notion that some people regard those who like to wear rubber (or latex) clothing as somehow “perverted”, “disgusting” or “dangerous” and thereby seemingly pose a threat to them personally or society in general.  Rubberists are “alien” or “other” to their worldview and, therefore, to be feared or rejected.

There is a broad spectrum of social acceptability of rubber fetish ranging from those who fully accept it in others and are not intimidated by it to those who see the fetish as a real threat to themselves and society. There are many reasons for this. At one end of the scale they embrace Rubberists as lawful, decent people who may be a bit odd or eccentric but are otherwise completely harmless and pose no threat to anyone. At the other end of this scale there are those who attach unfavourable stigmas to Rubberists, viewing them as socially unfit and even dangerous. These stigmas are more prevalent in the more puritanical countries such as the U.S. and are usually based in ignorance and misunderstanding, such as erroneously equating Rubberists with predatory sex criminals such as pedophiles. People fear what they do not understand.

How one thinks of the scope and depth of the social rejection of Rubberists is often largely a cultural function of the population density of the area he or she has been a resident of. A logical corollary to this is might be that the more people there are in a region, the more Rubberists there are likely to be and, therefore, the greater the opportunities for social interaction. Note that this is not a value judgement –it’s just a statement of logic based on numbers.

Here are some interesting numbers which may help you understand this. (All numbers here indicate people per square kilometer)

In the entire world there are an average of 53 people per square kilometer.

England is very near the top of the list at 406. (England has 84% of the people in the United Kingdom, which, as a whole, has a density of 262. Scotland is at 67.)
New York City has an astounding 11,642 people per square kilometer.
Germany has 226
Japan has 336
The US (all 50 states) has 32.
Canada has 3.57
Australia has a bit over 3 people per square kilometer! (It has, roughly, the same land area as the continental U.S.)

My point is that what you think of “social isolation” is probably based on where you have lived. For example, people who have lived in densely populated England or New York City for most of their lives cannot possibly have the same understanding of it as a (rural) Australian or Canadian would. However, someone who has lived in both places might have a better sense of the possible ranges.

Of course, there is a lot of variation within these countries relative to large cities. They all have both rural and urban areas in varying degrees. For example, while the US has only 32 people per square mile, the density of New York City is well over 11,000. Also, the vast majority of Australia’s people reside in the southeast corner of their continent in Sydney, Melbourne, etc. I could not find a density figure for London, but we can assume that is is also very high, perhaps similar to NYC.
In addition to population density, another factor in Rubberist social isolation is the cultural acceptance of “alternative sexuality”. Generally speaking, people who live in high density population areas tend to be a bit more liberal in their thinking, probably because they are continually exposed to more diverse ideas and subcultures with which they must coexist. In contrast, those who live in rural areas tend to be more conservative and less accepting of divergent attitudes.
So, if you live in a large city, you are, logically, in a place which is more likely to exhibit degrees of cultural and social receptivity to your fetish and may, possibly, spawn some sort of Rubberist community. Conversely, the more rural your location, the more likely you may encounter more hostility toward your fetish and the less likely you will find others like you or any sort of localized community of Rubberists.

If you are one of the more isolated Rubberists, what can you do to overcome this? What are your ideas?
Here, again, these are not judgements of “good” or “bad” but merely observations. 

Demographic Data sources: Wikipedia(1) and Wikipedia(2)

Rubber as an Enchantment

Rubber as Enchantment 10726-0730

It’s rather obvious.  The one thing that all of Rubberists share in common is that we are enchanted by rubber.  Deeply enchanted.

This is not a lighweight enchantment, either.  It’s not like being attracted to the way someone looks or the taste of a particlar food or the sound of your favorite piece of music.

Our fetish is a seriously heavyweight enchantment.  There is a “magnetism” here that profoundly affects us. This is deep magic spell stuff.

Rubber (or latex, PVC, etc.) is a primary motivator for us. It is driven by our sexuality which is the most powerful instinct in any living thing. In most of us “Rubberists”, our almost magical attraction to rubber is so active and so pronounced that it tends to be a major part of our personal identity. Rubber rules much of lives, our thinking, our desires and what we do from day to day.

Most of us were probably born with our fetish or mysteriously acquired it later on.  Bam! We wake one day with a full-blown rubber fetish. Somehow rubber casts it’s spell on us. Bam! We’re hooked!

There was not much choice involved. We are Rubberists and that’s a fact. It’s an integral part of us and is not going to go away. For better or for worse, we’re stuck with it.

But we do have a choice on how we react to this “spell”. We can see it as a negative thing and try to repress it, but most of us older Rubberists have found that not only does repression not work, all repression does in the end is simply make us miserable. Many of us have burned or discarded all of our (expensive) rubber clothing in a fit of anger or grief to purge ourselves of their enchantment over us. It never works for very long. Eventually we start to build a new wardrobe of rubber garments.

Enchantment- resistance is futile

The other choice we have is to view our fetish as a gift that we can use to make our lives happier and richer. This may involve a 180 degree change in our attitudes toward ourselves and how society views us, but that is a matter of choice that belongs to us.

The choice is yours. Either you can be miserable as a Rubberist or you can search for ways to make it the most amazing, wonderful experience possible.  We can decide to make it a source of happiness, rather than grief and misery, for us.

Which way do you choose?




What is Consciousness?

Consciousness can be described as “awareness with focus”.

Western culture has always been deeply suspicious of alternate states of consciousness (ASC) and has, in fact, often demonized anyone whose focus on reality has fallen outside the cultural norm.

In contrast, other cultures, such as the Hindu, Japanese and Chinese have venerated, honored and widely promoted the exploration of ASC’s. It’s built right into their culture and the way they view life and the universe.

For example, Sanskrit has about 20 nouns for “consciousness” or “mind” compared to only a few in western languages. How many English words can you think of for it? What does that tell you about the importance of consciousness in our culture?

Our consciousness — our focus of awareness– has been defined and “installed” in us by our parents, mentors and culture since our earliest infancy. What we focus our awareness on — what we perceive as “reality” — is taught to us by the consensus of our culture. It is not inherently the “real” reality of the world. Other possibilities are inherently excluded.

Consensus reality — a kind of “democracy of reality” based on what the majority thinks we should perceive — a sort of “truth designed by a committee”.

Most of us are trapped in this and are not even aware of it. Our egos are inherently designed to “protect” us from wandering into other states of consciousness outside of our cultural norm. We are unable to even consider the existence of other possible focuses for our awareness.

We are asleep…

Once in a while, however, a few of us wake up, even for just a moment or two, and get a glimpse of something way beyond our current “focus of awareness”. We “transcend” the consensus reality to a whole new level of being. Something very exciting and profound happens to us – we realize that our world can be much, much richer than we thought. A door is opened…

We may also discover that the languages of consensus reality are wholly inadequate to describe the new realms of mind we have found. It’s like trying to describe the taste of orange juice to someone who has never eaten an orange.

Exploring alternate states of consciousness is one of the highest “calls to adventure” known to mankind. It greatly transcends the quest for power and wealth and may give our lives a whole new meaning and Purpose.

Fewer than 1% of us will hear that calling. The remaining 99% of us will be the critics, the nay-sayers, the ones who role their eyes and ignore… the “sleepers”.

Are you listening? Or will you remain asleep?


Enchantment & Purpose

IF I step back and try to describe the synthesis of what Moore, Csikszentmihalyi, Watts, and other authors have taught me, the words which come to mind are “enchantment”, “attention” and “meaning”.

enchanted forestWhat is “enchantment? Why do we want it? This is a tuffy…. Moore refers to it as a feeling that comes over us which affects our hearts and perceptions. It is something which controls and, perhaps even guides, affects and “pushes” our lives in a particular direction. It could be thought of as a “magic spell” right out of a fairy tale in some sense. I think of fetish as an extremely strong example of a an enchantment.

Meaning refers to Purpose in the philosophical sense. The Greeks referred to this as “Entelechia” which means, roughly, the drive from within to fulfill Purpose. Meaning is what gives value to our lives. Viktor Frankl and Csikszentmihalyi both suggest that the things we do which affect the course of history are what give meaning to our lives. Of course, this is non-judgmental — if one affects the future in a negative way, there is still meaning, but it has negative connotations.

The pursuit of meaning is a primary source of enchantment. It engages us…it is Flow.

I think that the Purpose of RubberNauting is to somehow find ways to give positive meaning to Rubber Fetish. It seeks to find ways to create value and seek Purpose in this weird attraction we have for rubber. IT seeks ways to do something positive and noteworthy with our fetish– to somehow make the world a better place through it.


Fetish as a field of practice

Fetish as a field of practice

A practice is a field of knowledge, experience and activity that one continually works at to expand and improve. It grows. It is always becoming bigger, better, deeper yet it is never finished..

Perhaps fetish makes a good field of practice specifically because it is a very obvious phenomena in the Rubberist’s life that is infused with an enormous amount of energy as it is directly related to sexuality.

If the goal of life is to climb “Maslow’s Mountain“, i.e to become all that one can be – to “self-actualize“, it would seem that “becoming all of the fetishist that we can be” is something we (fetishers) are destined to do, anyways, even if the reasons for having the fetish are not apparent or discernible . It’s who we are, so it follows that we should explore and develop it as much as we can.

In a sense, our fetish practice _is_ our path up Maslow’s Mountain.